Friday, February 24, 2012
My choice to walk away...
My choice to walk away has nothing to do with the way that I feel about you. Matter of fact I love and care about you more than you will probably every know. My choice to walk is because I love myself, and refuse to let anyone take advantage any longer. Please understand that I do not regret knowing you or the time that was spent together...I will always have songs that make me think of you and smiles for the silliness and odds are I will have times that I even miss you. Its just this new position I find myself in...I have to do whats best for me. Surely, YOU can appreciate that.
Im sad that things went this far and things have to be this way now...but honestly more sad and disappointed in the chances I gave you to be open & honest and you couldn't do it. I gave you more than one, I called on you, asked for you, needed you... and you couldn't be the same person. Always happy and willing to accept what I was handing out, but never found when it was I who was in need. Things just don't work that way in the real world. Maybe in yours, but in time you will find yourself alone. I for one...like to know that those around me are true. Although I dont doubt for one second that you do care about me...I am no longer in a position to give, and because of that you have gone silent.
The person in me that doesn't like to give up on those I care about wants so much to hold on and be there for each call or text...but the same person is admitting the hurt and anger that comes from your lack of faith in me. I do see it all...I just choose not to call you out on it. Which then, angers me. Why would you choose to lie to me over and over? Why would you sit and let me help you knowing full well you ARE taking advantage? You know I think thats what bothers me most. Better for me to not have these flip flop feelings about you, and just walk away.
Seeing the Valentines from my daughter, made me realize...with her love is unconditional. Regardless of what I give her or where I take her she loves me no matter what. I have a good handful of people in my life not including my family who are the same. This is what I want in life...from those I care about. After all its what I give to you.
I love you and care what happens to you in life...I will always care. Im just doin it from a distance now. Wish you well. <3
(if you or anyone else decides to take a minute to read this, I ask that you understand names are withheld for a reason, and yes...I said nameS. Multiples)