Friday, October 14, 2011

Heres to the first...and the new love of your life...

"when your heart is full of doubt, and you think theres no way find your faith has been lost and shaken you take back whats been taken...get on your knees and dig down deep, you can do what you think is impossible, keep on believe and don't give in, it'll come and make you whole always will it always does, love is unstoppable..."

Where it comes from isn't really important, as long as its real. Today was one for the books, my patience, trust, energies...everything, was tested and pushed to the limit. As much as I wanted to I didn't I wasn't giving in. even after slamming my foot in the car door and smacking myself in the face with my cell phone. I had the love and support of great friends who helped keep me sane...looked at pictures of my silly kids, and heard my son say I was the first love of his life. Even if he may have only been saying it cuz he was guilty and or wanted something, it reminded me of what I have, that I should be thankful, and I had to push through it.

Emotionally I am drained, but I have faith in the positive things that are stirring. Its weird how some people come into your life, like they were always meant to be there. Instantly making you want to grab hold so they dont leave...its just that damn good. Without falling head over heels with an idea of how its supposed to grab on to whatevers close and fight with yourself...should I let go? Or hold on for dear life?? I have no idea whats in store, and as much as it pains me to scares me.

Wanting to always be that strong "you cant hurt me" girl...i have pushed away some good people out of fear of them hurting me first. Giving up faster than ever before on a simple no no because I refuse to let things look the slightest bit like my past. I realize now ill never see what can truly be, unless I do it right. Whatever right is...

My mini me, you were right...and sweetpea you were right too <3 no more wrong more closed doors on "chances". When it feels this right...gotta take that chance, never know what can happen...after all..."its unstoppable..."

Thank you DM...for your friendship & support today. It means a lot that youd cash in one of your favors for me. <3
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