Dear Skinny Bitch...
Stop pestering me, I'm tired of hearing bout' that new pair of jeans you want. Just buy shoes, you don't have to work out to buy a new pair of shoes. You don't have to count points, watch your fat intake or be sure you get in enough fiber & you sure as shit don't have to work out for 40 plus minutes a day collecting boob sweat in your sports bra for a sexy pair of shoes. And YES shoes can be sexy!
I'm sick of your bitching & complaining of wanting to go for a run, who wants to run? You have a car in your drive way, running will make your car cry. besides...my ass jiggles when I run. It's so not attractive.
When I think of the healthy meals you wanna prepare for me, I think of sitting on you! I want nothing more than to tie you down to a chair & force feeding you some cheesecake & taquitos with guacamole & sour cream...I'll even throw in a Diet Coke, you know it sounds good bitch don't lie!
I know your thinking you can beat me...but I'm a big bitch, and I dare you to try and take the cheesecake out of my hand =)