Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I hear ya knockin but you can't come out...

Dear Skinny Bitch...

Stop pestering me, I'm tired of hearing bout' that new pair of jeans you want. Just buy shoes, you don't have to work out to buy a new pair of shoes. You don't have to count points, watch your fat intake or be sure you get in enough fiber & you sure as shit don't have to work out for 40 plus minutes a day collecting boob sweat in your sports bra for a sexy pair of shoes. And YES shoes can be sexy!

I'm sick of your bitching & complaining of wanting to go for a run, who wants to run? You have a car in your drive way, running will make your car cry. besides...my ass jiggles when I run. It's so not attractive.

When I think of the healthy meals you wanna prepare for me, I think of sitting on you! I want nothing more than to tie you down to a chair & force feeding you some cheesecake & taquitos with guacamole & sour cream...I'll even throw in a Diet Coke, you know it sounds good bitch don't lie!

I know your thinking you can beat me...but I'm a big bitch, and I dare you to try and take the cheesecake out of my hand =)

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